Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2016 16:35:27 GMT -5
ASTERFLIGHT of CURRENTCLAN
35 MOONS OLD • WARRIOR
TOM • HOMOSEXUAL
SHORT DESCRIPTION
a long-haired silver tabby tom with amber eyes
PERSONALITY
- GENTLE. as gentle as they come, really. asterflight is certainly not harsh in personality - at least, when it comes to cats. tainted areas, maybe, but he's generally harmless in his execution. he's very much the one to sing you to sleep, the one to give a supportive shoulder and do so with coos leaving his maw; he's someone who contains within him no genuine desire to hurt others. certainly, he knows it's necessary in the life of being a warrior, but he's not someone to start the fight, only to continue it under the word of his leader, and even then he'll attempt to find some way to weasel out of it while keeping his clan safe. if he can find a peaceful, amiable situation to a conflict, he'll be the one to dig it out and resort to it first, whether the conflict is clan-scale or individual.
- SHY. despite how kind he is to his clanmates and the clear desire to make a connection with all of them, he's a recluse by means of social anxiety. he has a hard time speaking up for himself and often shrinks back, especially among the more intimidating of cats. it results in him being quiet not because quiet is his natural disposition, but because he has a hard time speaking a word in front of those he's not so familiar with. it's difficult for him to feel comfortable, which is a shame considering the fact that he only wants to be friends with everyone if he can be. it's always been a trait of his to attempt to get along, even with the more prickly of warriors who would rather not have his presence. he doesn't do anything to assert himself primarily because it takes so much energy out of him, and as a result he has a tendency to remain within the shadows.
- SELF-CONSCIOUS. and low self esteem in general, really. asterflight battles with low self confidence brought about partly due to his natural disposition and also his father. while others may be outwardly defiant in the face of what his father has done, asterflight has a greater likelihood to direct criticisms at himself. after all, he's clearly not perfect enough. with a strong desire to be noticed and loved for who he is, it's primarily this that holds him back. it prevents him from wanting to try because he's not sure if he really can. that he can't become better, that he's simply in the way of everyone. it also makes him question every pawstep of his. he's a tom who lives a life of constant uncertainty.
- LOYAL. if there's one thing he believes in, it's the integrity of his clan. although he's not especially fond of tornadostar as a leader, because currentclan comes first to him, he puts up with it anyway. he does what he can to provide for and nurture the clan, licking its wounds and keeping its strength and health up wherever possible. he won't turn his back on a warrior in currentclan in need. this loyalty also extends to his family and his friends especially, and even to his romantic life. he's not someone to go around with every cat he can possibly get with; if he likes you, he likes you for good unless you do something so completely horrible, and even then he's the first to give you a second chance if you attempt to repent. he's easy to take advantage of in this way, and he's aware of it, but there's naught he does about it.
- SKILLED & INTELLIGENT. if he weren't so low in self confidence, he'd be one of the more competent warriors within currentclan. he has a good head on his shoulders and he knows what to do with his body and his claws. if he'd put actual application into any of it, he'd be very fearsome. it's an untapped potential that lightningstrike tried to reach at, and while she managed to develop it, she didn't manage to bring it out completely. as a result of his constant doubting of himself, these sides of himself wind up not being properly utilized because he's too busy feeling bad about his every step to apply himself. if it's brought out of him, though, he'd become a tough opponent indeed.
- NEUROTIC. asterflight does a lot of fussing over basically nothing. it's easy for him to be perturbed by situations that other cats would simply glance over. this is especially the case for himself. he'll focus obsessively on a mistake he made ages ago which most everyone has likely forgotten. he doesn't just obsess about that, though; he does about other things, too. maybe it's neuroses or something else, but he's someone who focuses almost too much on cleanliness. he sees infection and illness spreading through his clan where it isn't, and as a result will dedicate too much of his attention on trying to prevent it. he's recognizing that this is not a reaction based on reality, but it's difficult for him to help himself with it.
- COMPULSIVE. asterflight is very much a cat who needs constant reassurance, whether it be physical or verbal. it's considerably an interference with his life, but he's someone who does what he can to quell negative thoughts by outward behaviors. he'll ask if he's doing okay at least 30 times, and when he's not doing that, he's avoiding the fresh-kill pile and washing his pelt, and he's done so at least five times today. sometimes he'll hardly get out of his den, worried that infection is going to spread in and get him, and his compulsive behavior then is to scratch out a blockage from the perceived threat. he's trying to beat these habits, as he knows they're unhealthy, but more often than not, he relapses.
- WARM-HEARTED. despite the word "tainted" he might use to describe someone, it's all well-intentioned. really, asterflight is a warm individual who loves his clan and his clanmates, even the ones he feels dubiously about (such as tornadostar). he'll do anything for each and every one of them, and it factors into his loyalty. he's certainly someone who does what he can to help them in small ways, whether it's to inform them about potential danger or to offer a shoulder to cry on. he doesn't do this for anything self-serving; he does it because he simply wants other cats to be happy. this doesn't even just apply to his clan, either. he's more than willing to help others outside of it if they're really in dire need. overall, asterflight really does like helping other cats and easing their burdens, and he's not afraid to express it.
- BLOOMS WHEN HE OPENS UP. when you get past his shyness, a new kind of persona opens up for asterflight, especially in his better moods. he can get very chatty and playful when actually spurred on, and he smiles and laughs more around those he's comfortable with. he's also less likely to flip around those he knows well, although he can be a little protective over them, and not necessarily in the nice way. still, he shows open affection and how much he cares about someone when that someone reaches out to him, and he's truly a sight to behold as he really does start to show the kind of dedicated, intelligent, and sweet warrior he really is underneath that shrinking violet exterior. he can almost be a whole different cat once you're close to him as opposed to first impressions.
- SKEPTICAL. despite all this, one other trait of his that sticks deep buried within him is a kind of skepticism, especially toward starclan. he's not one who believes in instant fixes to everyone's problems. he finds it doubtful that furry warriors within the sky can grant leaders nine lives. he thinks that what happens is, leaders simply become more resilient due to their own will-power as a result of their role. he keeps this scoffing of the warrior code and starclan in secret, unwilling to part with it to anyone for fear of being judged, but he may be persuaded to talk about it with those he trusts.
HISTORY
- Cloudflight and Mudtail had the definition of a fairy tale romance. Upon meeting, they instantly fell in love, and the two of them wanted to quickly have kits together, to start a family within CurrentClan. With that, they tied the knot, ready to lead a family.
- Unfortunately, the whole thing went wrong. Cloudflight struggled within her pregnancy - and it resulted in her death once she managed to give birth to Silverkit. The labor used to produce Asterkit had been too much on its own, and it left her barely able to give birth to her second kit before she lost too much blood and her life slipped away.
- It was pretty obvious that Mudtail blamed both of his kits for the passing of their mother, and so he was an absentee within their life. In fact, he hadn't even been the one to name them; they were named by a queen who took pity on them and fed them.
- Silverkit grew to have a defiant streak very quickly, especially toward her father. She'd say nasty things about him behind his back, and while Asterkit found himself agreeing, he turned much of his negative energy inward rather than outwardly expressing it. It didn't help that Mudtail was especially angry at him more than the she-cat.
- Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of tragedy for the family. Not long after that, Silverkit suffered from a particularly bad bout of greencough, and it claimed her life before she could even become an apprentice, leaving Asterkit all alone with his father - and neither of them were too pleased about that.
- Asterkit couldn't be more relieved when he became an apprentice. Dubbed Asterpaw, he'd been assigned to Lightningstrike, a dedicated she-cat willing to whip him into shape. Of course, because of her starkly contrasting personality from his, it led to the two of them running into their fair share of conflicts, especially since as Asterpaw grew, certain habits were beginning to manifest.
- Specifically, the tom began to demonstrate some compulsive behaviors to try to rid himself of obsessive thoughts. It started in the form of asking for reassurance (way too often), but then he started to feel as though the fresh-kill pile was diseased and often cleaned himself every time he went near it, only further validating his own thoughts rather than attempting to move past them. It resulted in him becoming the subject of teasing among his peers, although it caused him constant and persistent anxiety. He'd insist it even if the prey had been thoroughly washed, and he claimed that those who touched it were "tainted".
- It was funny that he kept this persistent belief even though as he grew older, his skepticism in StarClan continued to grow. He thought it was especially ridiculous when a certain Tornadopaw joined his Clan and already quickly went through the ranks; if StarClan did exist, surely they'd outlaw something like that. It didn't help that his obsessive thoughts were certain that the tom was completely and utterly tainted himself, although he never spoke of it to anyone.
- When he earned the name Asterflight in dedication to his mother by the leader, it'd been a gesture that Asterflight's father did not appreciate. He claimed that he did not deserve to wear his mother's name. Asterflight had a particularly bad fit of compulsion that night.
- This was not the only development to distress him. Despite the fact that Milknose, some tom he'd been secretly pursuing once he grew a little older and he started to explore more of what, or who, he was, was completely comfortable with this development, he shook in his boots when Tornadostar took the role of leader. Even to this day, he has a hard time accepting the new leader, but he's trying very hard to do so. After all, it's not as if he's the worst leader in the history of ever.
EXTRA
RELATIVES
MOTHER:
FATHER:
SIBLINGS:
OTHERS:
NOTES
Anything else?